


Human who?

by The_Guac



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Other, Overdosing, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 11:14:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16932237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Guac/pseuds/The_Guac
Summary: Jisung has never been good at explaining. Maybe that's why he chose to not leave a note.





	Human who?

**Author's Note:**

> I'll explain some things at the end so as to not "spoil" things. Thanks for clicking onto this story, there will be a sequel and I most likely will edit this story when the time comes.

The leaves fall off the trees sometime late November signaling a late winter ahead. Nonetheless, the small chill running up Jisung's spine the minute he got out of bed is enough to warrant two layers of clothing before he made his way to school.

Jisung's mom greets him briefly in the hallway when he finally leaves him room, planting a brief kiss to his forehead and storms away with a suitcase trailing behind her. His father runs past him following Jisung's mother still dressed in last night's work clothing. The front door slamming and his father's screams are enough to tell Jisung his mom won't be back for a while, again.

Making his way out of the hallway and into the kitchen, Jisung grabs an apple and munches on it. The apple will be his only meal today if he's to follow through with his plan.

Eventually, he makes his way to the front door where his father is still staring blankly at the front door. Jisung drags his father away from the door with a sigh and places his father on the couch in the living room. He turns on the television, hands his father the television remote and gives the top of his father's head a kiss.

"Ms. Kim will be by in a few minutes," Jisung says to his father as he walks to the door. "Don't open the door for anyone, she has the keys."

Jisung's father pouts, and Jisung can't help but smile. "Today you have a class with your other friends." Outside, Jisung hears a horn honk. "I have to go now, but Ms. Kim is also going to help you pack up a few things for a sleepover. Doesn't that sound fun?"

With a final kiss to his father's head and a tight hug, Jisung exits his house and makes his way down the driveway. Jisung tries not to dwell on the way his chest aches. Chenle and his older brother Renjun wait patiently in Renjun's minivan as Jisung opens the back seat door. To his surprise, Mark, Renjun's friend, sits behind Renjun who's in the driver's seat.

The last time he saw Mark, Renjun had given him a black eye at Jaemin's birthday party. Renjun also swore to kill Mark the next time they ever met, but Renjun doesn't look ready to pounce on Mark, so Jisung quietly makes his way next to Mark.

"Long time no see!" Mark shouts. Extending his hand out for Jisung to take, Renjun pulls away from Jisung's house.

"Hey dude," Jisung takes Marks hand in a brief handshake. "Where have you been?"

Chenle intervenes before Mark can say anything, "Kissing Donghyuck's ass, but of course, you wouldn't know."

Jisung is left shocked at Chenle's sudden remark, and Mark glares at the boy. He didn't know Chenle was mad at him over this.

Renjun moves one hand off the steering wheel and whacks Chenle before putting his hand back. Ignoring Chenle's cry of pain, he says, "What Chenle means to say is Mark and Haechan have finally made up while you were taking care of your father. How is he anyway?"

Aware of Renjun's concern over Jisung's father, Jisung lies, but it doesn't stop his voice from wavering towards the end, "He's doing fine. Ms. Kim has him for the day."

"That's great.", Renjun says. Jisung supposes it is great that someone can look after his father.

The rest of the ride remains silent. Mark talks the most out of the four trying to explain what happened between him and Haechan. Chenle stays grumbly and ignores Jisung even after Renjun drops the two off at school. Jisung manages to grab Chenle by the wrist and whisper a loud sorry into the boy's ear before Chenle yanks his arm away.

  
Lunch comes sooner than later, and Jisung sits by himself in the far back of the cafeteria. Chenle sits around fellow Juniors and refuses to acknowledge Jisung's stares.

Eventually, Jisung gives up and looks away. He doesn't stay glum for long when a sigh catches Jisung's attention. Looking up from where he's sat, Jisung's eyes meet Jaemin's.

"What did you do to warrant Chenle's bad side?" Jaemin says as he moves to sit in front of Jisung. Everything about Jaemin is gentle, so he places the tray with utmost care in front of Jisung.

Jisung drops his head and slams his forehead on the table, "Nothing, absolutely nothing."

Jaemin takes an obnoxiously loud slurp out of his drink gaining unwanted attention. Jisung looks up and glares at him ready to tell Jaemin off when Jaemin says, "Get Chenle a gift, I know you have a couple of jobs."

Unknown emotions pool into Jisung's eyes that has Jaemin looking at him worriedly. Jisung doesn't give the time for Jaemin to ask by saying, "I quit them all."

"Why?", Jaemin asks shock lacing his every word.

"I finally saved up enough money to-" Jisung starts, but Jaemin slams his tray hard onto the table stopping Jisung and some of the kids in the cafeteria from talking.

"No you didn't do what I think you did," Jaemin says through clenched teeth. "You better be fucking lying to me."

Jisung has nothing to say. If anything he's more than surprised at how quick Jaemin figured out what he had done. Jaemin huffs and an anguished smile appears on his face. Jisung knows it doesn't suit Jaemin. "You know, you're one shitty son."

By the time Jisung can muster up anything to say, Jaemin is already gone.

  
Jisung supposes Jaemin told Chenle with the way Renjun drives off with Chenle in the passenger seat once school had been over. Renjun always took Jisung home especially around the time winter rolled in. With time, Jisung thinks, the boys will cool off. Even if they don't, Jisung won't be around to know.

The walk home is more lonely than it is cold. Jisung did wear two layers of clothing that morning. He gets home to an empty house, cleans some and finally checks his parents' room. Some of his mother's clothes are gone, and most of his father's belongings are gone as well.

He makes his way to the other side of his mother's bed and opens his mother's nightstand. In it is an assortment of all his mother's pill bottles she tended to leave behind whenever she took off. Jisung's mother told him leaving the pills behind was a way of feeling all the pain. His mother says pain makes her feel human.

Jisung wonders if that's true.

Grabbing what he can, Jisung trails his way to his bedroom. Settling into his bed, he pops the cap off the first bottle. He doesn't count many he takes but he's sure five bottles worth of pills in the last couple of hours is enough. Eventually, he stops downing what he deems is killing.

Jisung knows what comes next isn't pretty, but while he remains feeling fine, he dials an all too familiar number as he settles back onto his bed. His phone rings and rings and then-

Jeno cannot take your phone call at the moment. Please leaf a message after the beep. Haha, get it?

No, Jisung doesn't get it, but the familiarity the voice leaves behind is enough to have him smiling. Jaemin must have told Jeno what he'd done. Jisung knows his friends have every right to be mad at him, but who's going to take care of his father when he's gone? Certainly not his mother.

Before the beep comes, Jisung hangs up. Jeno doesn't deserve to hear his excuses. Something in Jisung's abdomen feels as though someone is crushing his organs. Jisung lets out a mixture of a laugh and pained groan.

Jisung wonders if this pain is making him human.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Jisung's father is not mentally his age. Jisung's mother also doesn't take care of her husband leaving Jisung to do it but at the end he gives his father away to an adult home. I'll touch more on this topic in the prequel and sequel of the story.  
> I will also touch on why his friends were so upset with him concerning his lack of being around and giving his father up.  
> Jeno is briefly mentioned for reasons that will be brought up in either the prequel or sequel.  
> Basically, a lot of things in this story will be explained in either the sequel or prequel. I'll try and make those longer.


End file.
